Killjoys 4x05 "Greening Pains" Review

Killjoys 4x05 "Greening Pains" Review

Between an expected father/child relationship (D’avin Jaqobis and still-unnamed son) and two unexpected (Turin and his newly adopted ex-Hullen son Weej, and Gared and his brood of kidnapped children), “Greening Pains” had some great familial moments, both biological and found, as well as some pretty great body horror, some unexpected team-ups, and of course, a good old-fashioned stick-up. Let’s dive in!

Episode 4x05 of Killjoys opens with a woman singing a lullaby to her child, when suddenly the door is kicked in, and two dark figures with glowing red eyes shoot the mother with an energy blast, snatch the child up, and vanish into the night.

In her bed on Lucy, Dutch tosses and turns, suddenly waking and bolting upright to find D’avin seated on the floor, leaning against the wall. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people,” she tells him, to which he responds, “You shouldn’t scream in your sleep,” echoing the words she said to him his first night on Lucy. He starts to leave, but Dutch asks him to stay. “The last time I stayed, you disappeared into the green,” he reminds her.

“True; the first time you tried to kill me,” she responds, “so...progress?” He needs a room; she has a room, she points out, telling him not to overthink it. D’avin sits on the bed next to her, and she takes his hand. After a moment of looking at one another, they kiss, the sheets Dutch had clutched to her chest falling away. (These two have always had incredible chemistry, and it’s lovely to see them together again!)

Zeph and Johnny are babysitting Delle Seyah’s baby and giving him a checkup, noticing that while everything looks good, the muscle cells in his heart are regenerating abnormally fast. Johnny pulls up his own scans, noting that the Hullen parasite is still gone, and that his brain is in perfect health. “Who knew that psychotic rage and repeated head-bangings could be so rejuvenating?” he jokes. Zeph gives a halfhearted fake laugh, and when Johnny presses her, tells him that it’s hard to be around him, because while he’s back to his old self now, when he was Hullen, he was… “A complete dick?” Johnny finishes. Zeph knows that Hullen Johnny isn’t who he really is, but he apologizes nonetheless that she had to deal with whoever that other Johnny was. Not quite good enough for Zeph, though; she zaps him in the ribs with a tool, then declares that they’re good now.

Over drinks (though it’s early in the day, Johnny points out), Dutch and Johnny try to figure out what hidden message Khlyen had for her in the story he told her. They remember the story pretty differently, but before they can delve too deep into the past, the baby starts crying. A half-asleep D’avin (along with the rest of the gang, including Pree in an ornate robe with an eye mask on top of his head) comes stumbling out to go check on him, only for Zeph (who was watching him) to come running asking where he is. She’d fallen asleep for a second and he’d disappeared, but where could a literal infant have gone? Dutch pokes her head down a hallway and finds a toddler sitting there — the rapid growth he experienced throughout the pregnancy is still happening.

While Johnny and Zeph try to figure out how to stop the rapid growth, Pippin entertains the boy — he has younger sisters, so he’s good with kids. Johnny and Zeph tell D’avin that the child has both human and Hullen cells, and while the human cells degrade as normal, the Hullen cells see any degradation as something they need to fix. This forces the human cells to regenerate, and the more they regenerate, the “older” the child gets. “This biology is way beyond me,” Zeph confesses. They need to get back to her lab on the armada, and fast.

Dutch checks in with Turin, who is still aboard the Hullen mothership, which lost all power when the green crystalized. He also tells her that there have been 13 child abductions in Old Town, and more across Westerly. He’s sent Fancy to investigate, and wants Dutch to join him when she gets back, but Dutch tells him that she’s not coming back yet. Pree is going back to Old Town (and tries to steal Delle Seyah’s jacket-cape when he’s packing), and Dutch asks him to be her eyes and ears instead. She doesn’t know how yet, but she assures him that they’re going to win.


On the Hullen ship, Turin has the Hullen doll that Zeph reactivated show him where the rest of the plasma is kept. The man hasn’t been given full control of his faculties yet, but he keeps saying “something is wrong” as he and Turin walk down the ship’s corridors. Partway through the hallway filled with the still forms of the non-reactivated dolls, Turin realizes something: the dolls are facing the opposite direction of where they used to be. They reach the room where the plasma was stored, only to find it all solidified, just as the rest of the plasma is. The Hullen doll has no idea what happened — he doesn’t even know his name.

Suddenly, they hear the sounds of marching, and rush back out to the hallway, which is now empty. The two search the decks for the army of skinwalkers (Turin’s words), and they suddenly round the corner to find a room full of them, holding rifles. The ex-Hullen start marching toward them, and Turin readies himself to die, but not without taking out a few of them first. But the man grasps Turin in a tight embrace so he can’t fire his gun, and shifts them so they’re between the rows of marching dolls. After the army has passed, the man excitedly declares that he remembers his name, Weej, and he knows where the army is going. They arrive at the hangar bay to find all the smaller ships streaming out, with no idea where they’re going.

Dutch tells D’avin and Johnny that she doesn’t think they should go back to the Quad yet — the missing kids are almost certainly because The Lady is trying to find Aneela’s child. But as D’avin points out, the child is going to have another growth spurt within hours, and more after that, if they don’t figure out how to stop it. Johnny says that they need someone with bioweapons experience, and while Pippin is rummaging through the cupboards to find some food and non-alcoholic beverages to give the kid, he pipes up that he knows someone. He’s on Utopia, he says, much to Johnny’s delight.

While D’avin and Pip go seek out Pip’s connection, Dutch and Johnny go gun shopping. Well, Johnny goes gun shopping, while Dutch is preoccupied with the story. They still differ on main points, but Johnny insists that his version is more interesting. Elsewhere, D’avin and Pippin try to get a meeting with Pippin’s connection, Kravn, but his receptionist won’t let them through, even with a bribe, which the man pockets despite turning them away. But they have a backup plan, of course — a scanner in the bribe that gives them the whole floor plan of the store. Pip is horrified at the thought of ripping off someone who makes biological weapons for a living, but the Killjoys assure him they’re not going to rip him off — they’re going to kidnap him!

Johnny gives D’avin the gun he just bought, a set of goggles, and some other tools, and the team goes over the plan while we watch their mental images, set to spy music: D’avin will enter Kravn’s storefront (we see him charging down the stairs and ordering everyone to put their hands up like he’s an old-timey bank robber) — with the mask, D’av — (the footage cuts and he comes back down the stairs, this time wearing the large goggles that obscure his face). The receptionist will trigger the silent alarm, prompting Kravn to go to his safe room, where Dutch and Johnny will be waiting (Dutch and Johnny grab him, put a bag over his head, and flash a big wink and thumbs-up at the camera). Pippin will be the lookout. Pippin is less-than-confident that the plan won’t end with his eyeballs melting, so when Dutch tells him he can go wait on the ship, he can’t get to Lucy fast enough.


D’avin bursts into the store (wearing the mask), ordering the receptionist and guard to fill his bag with “anything shiny,” and pretends not to notice the receptionist triggering the silent alarm. Down below, Dutch and Johnny crawl through the vents to reach Kravn’s safe room. But Kravn doesn’t appear. Instead, code starts flashing on the mirrored walls of the room, and Kravn’s voice comes through — he’s somehow uploaded his own consciousness to the main frame. He starts pumping a nerve agent into the room, and Dutch tears Johnny’s shirt in half to tie around their faces.

Upstairs, D’avin is running out of things to have the guard and receptionist put in his bag, and when he radios Dutch to check in, the guard injects himself with stimulants and attacks him. The receptionist and D’avin also grab fistfulls of the stim packs, and the three get into a full-on brawl, barely reacting to the punches thrown. The receptionist gets knocked unconscious quickly, but D’avin and the guard continue to inject themselves with the stim packs and beat the snot out of each other, laughing their asses off from the high that follows.

In the safe room, Johnny is succumbing to the nerve gas and has to dictate to Dutch what to type as they try to hack Kravn. Kravn easily runs circles around them, until he realizes he doesn’t recognize the code Dutch just typed. Johnny directs him to read it out loud, which he does: “Got you, asshole.” Johnny (through Dutch) had reprogrammed Kravn’s voice commands, and Kravn had just ejected himself from the system. Johnny and Dutch grab the drive as the gas clears and get out of there — but they’ve got a partner to collect first. After knocking out the guard, they find D’avin sitting on the floor giggling to himself. Dutch tells him she’ll stun him if he can’t keep it together, and he nods solemnly, then says, “you’re pretty,” and bursts into giggles again.

Pip comes sauntering up Lucy’s ramp with a bag of scented bubble-bath (with extra for Zeph; how considerate) and notices Zeph’s panicked expression. The child is laying on the exam table, extremely thin — he’s burning through nutrients faster than she can get them into him. As Pip helps her give him electrolytes, the boy bolts upright, gasping, and we see his spine pop and expand as he grows another several sizes.

Later, as the now-teenage-sized boy sits on the exam table wrapped in a blanket, Team Awesome Force returns with a still-high D’avin, whose giggles fade as he realizes that the young man before him is his son. After Dutch whisks him away to come down before he meets his son, Johnny tries to convince Lucy to let him plug Kravn’s file into her system (and both Zeph and Pip find it weirdly arousing). After Lucy agrees, Johnny plugs Kravn in, and tells him to help them find a way to stop the child’s rapid aging. Or else Lucy will overwrite him with cookie recipes, she threatens.

In Dutch’s room, D’avin is still melting down. He can’t decide if he should talk to the boy or not — is the story of how D’avin is his father going to be what he wants to hear, or is it going to sound crazy? He starts to go to talk to him, but Dutch asks if he really thinks he’s in the best shape to give the birds and the bees talk to someone who’s less than 24 hours old. “Absolutely,” he assures her while walking away, then turns and comes back into the room. “What do I tell him, Dutch?” he asks, looking utterly lost.

“Tell him what he needs to hear. Because that’s what you always do,” Dutch responds, the tender moment underscored by soft piano and strings. D’avin looks down, and then — “Have you ever really looked at your hands? I mean, really looked at them?” Yep. He’s still high. Dutch pulls him back inside the room so he doesn’t have his first conversation with his son while high as a kite.

Pippin sits down with the boy as he wolfs down some soup, already able to string short sentences together. But as Pip watches him, the score sours and Pip’s fingers twitch, and everyone watching simultaneously remembers that The Lady’s spiders are...possessing him? It’s not real clear. But it’s not gonna be a good time. Meanwhile, Kravn and Lucy have come up with a formula to stop D’avin’s son’s rapid aging, but when they go to retrieve him, they discover that neither he nor Pip are still aboard Lucy.

While the rest of the team scrambles to locate them, Delle Seyah appears, looking for “the baby,” saying that there’s a Qreshi ceremony she needs to do while he’s still nursing, so Zeph goes off with her to break the news that her baby boy is now a teenager (and hopefully stall her finding out that he’s missing), and Kravn offers to give them access to security feeds. Using them, they’re quickly able to spot the two, who just bought tickets off Utopia. Pip walks stiffly, telling the boy that “she’s waiting,” to which the boy responds, “You’ll be dead before you see her.”

This stops Pip, and as Dutch, D’avin, and Johnny come running, Pip comes back to himself, confused and seeming not to remember how he got there. D’avin knocks him out, and introduces himself to his son. Back on Lucy, Pip is in his bed, bound and sedated, and Zeph tells Dutch that she’s going to run every test she can think of to find out why he dissociated, because she knows that Pippin didn’t do this himself.

Johnny gives the boy the treatment Lucy and Kravn formulated, which successfully stabilizes his growth, and then ejects Kravn from Lucy’s system, but not before Kravn flirts with Lucy some more and asks her to come with him. But her humans need him, as she tells him. As Delle Seyah enters the room, Johnny goes to leave, but she stops him, wanting to know if the boy is really her son. She gets choked up, and is clearly embarrassed by showing emotion, of which she seems to be having an unusual amount lately.

Johnny tells her that since she was cut off from human emotion for so long as Hullen, it’s pretty intense — which he would know. Delle Seyah realizes that Johnny is one of the few people who might actually be able to understand her, and tries to let some walls down. “When does it go away?” she asks. Johnny laughs and says, “I don’t know; maybe when you actually make some amends for the things you did. You want to stop feeling bad, Delle Seyah? Stop being a sh*tty person. Do the work.”


In Oldtown, Fancy and Gared try to work together to investigate the missing children. The woman we saw at the beginning of the episode comes to them, and they notice a red handprint on her door, only visible under UV light. They then go on what can only be described as a stakeout, with Fancy as the gruff veteran cop the talkative rookie (Gared) is annoying.

As they watch, a seemingly-drunk man staggers down the street, slapping his palm on several doors. Once he’s passed, the unlikely duo investigate, finding a red handprint on those doors under UV light. Once it gets dark, they watch as cloaked figures with infrared lenses (those red eyes we saw earlier) go to the first marked door. Gared can’t just sit by and watch them grab another kid, so he confronts the figures, despite Fancy trying to stop him. And then Fancy gets shot with an energy blaster by someone else who thinks that the Killjoys are responsible for the abductions.

Gared manages to get the kid away from the kidnappers, but they hit him with a shock baton and drag him off “for questioning.” He assures the assailants that when Dutch gets back, she’s going to kill all of them, but I think they really should be more worried about Pree. He strides up and hauls Fancy off the ground, demanding to know where “his man” is, and I don’t pity those kidnappers who are going to have to face down Big Daddy Scrimshaw. Speaking of his man, he’s waking up in a Hullen ship surrounded by young children, and assuring them that everything is going to be okay.

Finally, Dutch, Johnny, and D’avin sit down for a drink, and to work out once and for all what Khylen meant by the story. As they go over it, they realize that they differed on one of the fundamental aspects of the story — the gender of their mark. Thinking back to her time in the green, Dutch remembers feeling Khlyen do something while telling the story, and they realize that he hid a code inside the story that only she and John would be able to break, because Khlyen knew that The Lady would look through Dutch’s memories.

Notable quotes:

“This biology is way beyond me,” — Zeph
“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself,” — Johnny
“—and if it’s beyond me then Johnny doesn’t stand a chance.” — Zeph

“I think the technical term for it is ‘fuster-cluck.’” — Turin

“I have been a warlord, a sexer, an entrepreneur, and that big, goofy bear is what I miss the most. How did this happen — to me?!” — Pree

Killjoys airs Fridays at 10/9c on Syfy.

Michaela’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

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