My First Time Watching 'Iron Man'
Part II in the My First Time Watching… the MCU series, in which contributor Alyssa watches all of the Marvel Universe movies in chronological order.
Second movie, let’s do this
If I couldn’t already tell by the intro song being “Back in Black” by AC/DC, this movie came out in 2008
The only thing I know about Iron Man is that apparently RDJ is actually Tony Stark, and seeing as I don’t know RDJ, I’ll have no way of knowing if that’s true
Oh fun, an explosion
I know this is serious but that camera they’re using is the most 2008 thing I’ve seen
So, why is this fancy man even in this situation?
Ohhh, his name is on the bomb that fucked him up!
I did not expect a lesson on war and major weapons so soon, but I’m into it
I’m getting a bad feeling about beard man tbh
Lmao, Tony is such a dick
His house is nice and all, but I would have an anxiety attack living on the literal edge of a cliff
I mean, one earthquake and that’s it fam
Wow, imagine what he could accomplish if all of that technology was used for something actually useful?
HIS CELL PHONE
Do NOT pull that tube out of your nose, I WILL vomit
So this guy is also a captive?
“How did these guys get my weapons” do you know how war works, sir
Ohhh, so he’s gonna make the Big Boy Bomb for these guys?
I wonder if he has a plan or if he’s just gonna do it and hope for the best
Okay, he made his blue heart thing
This whole “a man who has everything but really nothing” trope is like, actually pretty boring and overdone, don’t @ me
Did he really think that he could just make something completely different and they… wouldn’t notice?
You know, it’s kinda funny that when thinking of things to make to help them escape Tony’s just like “I got it! A metal fucking super suit!”
Okay, at least they rigged a bomb to the door
And they killed the scientist guy to drive Tony’s story arc, nice
Oh good, he’s destroying their weapons too
There have already been SO MANY explosions in this movie
Was he wandering the desert for like, five minutes?
Please tell me he knows that Pepper has a mega crush on him
I know this is all about his origin story, but no American CEO (or whatever he is) would cut off their multi billion dollar a year business
Just to make this clear: I do not understand at all how this technology works lmao
This scene between Pepper and Tony is genuinely so funny
Okay, this is also the thing of “I’m in danger and just realized I only have one significant person in my life”
Ohhhh they’re recovering all the suit parts out of the desert, this is gonna be bad news
WOW they’re trying to throw him out because they say he has PTSD? First of all, yes, ofc he has PTSD. Second of all, they absolutely just want to make weapons again lmao
The suit is cool, but why exactly is he making it? Like what’s it for?
Ah yes, I just learned how to fly, let’s fly around at night, in a busy metropolitan area, where thousands of people can see me and I’ll definitely be on the news. Just a super chill, lowkey evening
“Give me a scotch, I’m starving”
Oh snap, beard man is still manufacturing weaponsssssssss
So he’s gonna go try to be a superhero now
It’s not a superhero movie unless a child looks at the protagonist with wide eyed amazement
Oh wow, beard man is working DIRECTLY with the bad guys. I wish that surprised me, but I majored in politics, so I’m actually pretty underwhelmed
Ohhhh Pepper, what you up to????
WAIT, beard man PAID them to try to kill Tony???
Couldn’t he have just like, poisoned him and paid off the cops or something? Seems much easier to me
Okay but when Pepper left the office it was daylight, and now when beard man is at Tony’s and stealing his “heart” it’s night? I feel like she should have had time to shoot him a “you in danger” text
Okay, she called his friend at least
“Your services are no longer required” is the dumbest line I’ve heard in a long time lmao
Everyone “stick to the official statement”