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My First Time Watching 'Captain America: the First Avenger'

My First Time Watching 'Captain America: the First Avenger'

Part I in the My First Time Watching… the MCU series, in which contributor Alyssa watches all of the Marvel Universe movies in chronological order.


So, I haven’t seen any Marvel movies. I know! I promise I haven’t been living in a bunker. Superheros have never been something I was interested in, so I’m going into this almost blind.    To be honest, all I know is that Chris Evans is really good at twitter and that him and Jenny Slate used to date. Anyway, let’s do this thing!

  • Okay, it's snowing, and it looks like the beginning of an alien movie I’ve seen, don’t remember which one

  • Ohhhhhhhh the shieldddddddddddd

  • Okay, 1942, interesting

  • Captain America is from the 40s right? I HAVE seen many a tumblr gifset about this

  • Pro tip, if the first shot of a character is their boots walking on cobblestones with menacing music in the background, they’re bad news

  • Why does Mr. Filch care so much about this skeleton

  • A……….. cube?

  • And an Odin mention? This is already A Lot

  • Ah, a vaguely threatening blue light

  • Okay, I might be giving away my lack of knowledge of the film industry here, but how exactly did they make Chris Evans look like that

  • He does not look right my dudes

  • His…. head is strange? Is he literally supposed to be like four feet tall? Like, I get he’s pre Captain America here and should be pretty underwhelming but… I’m sorry, moving on now

  • Sebastian Stan?

  • Who else was creeped out by him in I, Tonya? Major yikes

  • CLARA?!

  • Awww Jenna Coleman is in this! for like 30 seconds, but still

  • Mustache dude looks a little like Eric Forman from That 70’s Show

  • I know enough that this dude is Tony Stark’s dad, be proud everyone

  • Got a feeling that Stanley Tucci is gonna be important here

  • Honestly, when is Stanley Tucci not important in a movie?

  • Trust me Steve, it’s totally okay to kill Nazis

  • Ya know, I miss the days when the Nazis were actually portrayed as the bad guys. Sad!

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  • Okay, the strange blue light is some kind of power source

  • YAS PUNCH HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE GURL

  • Okay, that flag thing was pretty clever

  • I’m so sorry, but when Peggy said “My grandmother has more fight in her, God rest her soul” ALL I could think of was Gordon Ramsay’s legendary “My gran can do better, and she’s dead”

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  • I’m Very Upset that they have Peggy using “ladies” and “girls” as insults though

  • Hey, Trump fans, please pay attention to Stanley Tucci talking about how Hitler got his start

  • Are they gonna mention that Hitler was actively looking for Atlantis during WWII? It’s real, look it up

  • SOMEBODY GET THAT KID A SANDWICH

  • Oh wow, that machine even managed to perfectly oil his chest, impressive

  • Peggy is so funny omg

  • Okay but WHY is there one vial left? That seems so stupid? Like use them all or don’t put it in there?

  • AWW THE OLD LADY

  • How many weeks of eating only chicken breast and asparagus did Chris Evans have to commit to for this?

  • I love that they’ve succeeded in this crazy medical experiment and the FIRST thing they do is have him sell shit, thanks so much Capitalism™

  • Okay, so he’s gonna go save Bucky

  • Love how he just… casually jumps out of a plane that’s being shot at

  • You know, they’ve all been acting like he’s brave and I’m starting to wonder if he’s just dumb

  • WHY does he have that dumb shield

  • He honestly should just have a giant sign that says “I’M SNEAKING IN”

  • Wow what a coincidence, he finds Bucky

  • Was Bucky being like, experimented on?

  • Me, drunk on Christmas, when the cousins I haven’t seen in ten years show up

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  • Ohhh this dude also got the serum???!!!

  • Nice, red Voldemort

  • It's not a superhero movie without a dramatic “he really never should have made that” jump over a fiery explosion in slow motion

  • Natalie Dormer is also in this????

  • And she’s not afraid to go after what she wants lmao

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  • Is.. is vibranium the stuff from Black Panther?

  • Bucky seemingly falling to his death WOULD be very sad, but I know he survives this in some kind of capacity (again, thank you Tumblr)

  • Even if I didn't know he survives I would have guessed it tbh, that seemed like a really anticlimactic death scene  

  • Wait, when did they capture the doctor guy? Did I miss that?

  • Oh, this is the plane he was found in in the beginning of the movie huh

  • This is a good time to mention that being thrown out of a plane (or anything) at an extreme height is like, my worst fear

  • That and the current political climate

  • Ohh, I see, he crashes it on purpose

  • He couldn’t have like, landed it gently somewhere? Or parachuted out of there? I feel like there are a lot of other options

  • This is gonna be unpopular, but why does he have her picture? Like, they never even dated? Did they even really know each other?

  • There was definitely a level of cheesiness in this movie that made it less enjoyable for me, not gonna lie  

  • I guess that’s pretty common with superhero movies though?

  • Oh, they found the blue square of death, good

  • And he wakes up in the modern day, how absolutely terrifying

  • At least he didn’t wake up post 2016, can you imagine explaining THAT?

Overall, this was just okay. I’m sorry! Don’t hate me! Maybe I’ll me a Marvel superfan after this, who knows? Anyway, remember to punch your local Nazi everyone <3

Alyssa’s rating: 🐝🐝🐝

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My First Time Watching 'Iron Man'

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