My First Time Watching 'Captain America: the First Avenger'
Part I in the My First Time Watching… the MCU series, in which contributor Alyssa watches all of the Marvel Universe movies in chronological order.
So, I haven’t seen any Marvel movies. I know! I promise I haven’t been living in a bunker. Superheros have never been something I was interested in, so I’m going into this almost blind. To be honest, all I know is that Chris Evans is really good at twitter and that him and Jenny Slate used to date. Anyway, let’s do this thing!
Okay, it's snowing, and it looks like the beginning of an alien movie I’ve seen, don’t remember which one
Ohhhhhhhh the shieldddddddddddd
Okay, 1942, interesting
Captain America is from the 40s right? I HAVE seen many a tumblr gifset about this
Pro tip, if the first shot of a character is their boots walking on cobblestones with menacing music in the background, they’re bad news
Why does Mr. Filch care so much about this skeleton
And an Odin mention? This is already A Lot
Ah, a vaguely threatening blue light
Okay, I might be giving away my lack of knowledge of the film industry here, but how exactly did they make Chris Evans look like that
He does not look right my dudes
His…. head is strange? Is he literally supposed to be like four feet tall? Like, I get he’s pre Captain America here and should be pretty underwhelming but… I’m sorry, moving on now
Who else was creeped out by him in I, Tonya? Major yikes
Awww Jenna Coleman is in this! for like 30 seconds, but still
Mustache dude looks a little like Eric Forman from That 70’s Show
I know enough that this dude is Tony Stark’s dad, be proud everyone
Got a feeling that Stanley Tucci is gonna be important here
Honestly, when is Stanley Tucci not important in a movie?
Trust me Steve, it’s totally okay to kill Nazis
Ya know, I miss the days when the Nazis were actually portrayed as the bad guys. Sad!
Okay, the strange blue light is some kind of power source
YAS PUNCH HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE GURL
Okay, that flag thing was pretty clever
I’m so sorry, but when Peggy said “My grandmother has more fight in her, God rest her soul” ALL I could think of was Gordon Ramsay’s legendary “My gran can do better, and she’s dead”
I’m Very Upset that they have Peggy using “ladies” and “girls” as insults though
Hey, Trump fans, please pay attention to Stanley Tucci talking about how Hitler got his start
Are they gonna mention that Hitler was actively looking for Atlantis during WWII? It’s real, look it up
SOMEBODY GET THAT KID A SANDWICH
Oh wow, that machine even managed to perfectly oil his chest, impressive
Peggy is so funny omg
Okay but WHY is there one vial left? That seems so stupid? Like use them all or don’t put it in there?
AWW THE OLD LADY
How many weeks of eating only chicken breast and asparagus did Chris Evans have to commit to for this?
I love that they’ve succeeded in this crazy medical experiment and the FIRST thing they do is have him sell shit, thanks so much Capitalism™
Okay, so he’s gonna go save Bucky
Love how he just… casually jumps out of a plane that’s being shot at
You know, they’ve all been acting like he’s brave and I’m starting to wonder if he’s just dumb
WHY does he have that dumb shield
He honestly should just have a giant sign that says “I’M SNEAKING IN”
Wow what a coincidence, he finds Bucky
Was Bucky being like, experimented on?
Me, drunk on Christmas, when the cousins I haven’t seen in ten years show up
Ohhh this dude also got the serum???!!!
Nice, red Voldemort
It's not a superhero movie without a dramatic “he really never should have made that” jump over a fiery explosion in slow motion
Natalie Dormer is also in this????
And she’s not afraid to go after what she wants lmao
Is.. is vibranium the stuff from Black Panther?
Bucky seemingly falling to his death WOULD be very sad, but I know he survives this in some kind of capacity (again, thank you Tumblr)
Even if I didn't know he survives I would have guessed it tbh, that seemed like a really anticlimactic death scene
Wait, when did they capture the doctor guy? Did I miss that?
Oh, this is the plane he was found in in the beginning of the movie huh
This is a good time to mention that being thrown out of a plane (or anything) at an extreme height is like, my worst fear
That and the current political climate
Ohh, I see, he crashes it on purpose
He couldn’t have like, landed it gently somewhere? Or parachuted out of there? I feel like there are a lot of other options
This is gonna be unpopular, but why does he have her picture? Like, they never even dated? Did they even really know each other?
There was definitely a level of cheesiness in this movie that made it less enjoyable for me, not gonna lie
I guess that’s pretty common with superhero movies though?
Oh, they found the blue square of death, good
And he wakes up in the modern day, how absolutely terrifying
At least he didn’t wake up post 2016, can you imagine explaining THAT?
Overall, this was just okay. I’m sorry! Don’t hate me! Maybe I’ll me a Marvel superfan after this, who knows? Anyway, remember to punch your local Nazi everyone <3